daenaaaa: AHhHHHhhhHhh!!! IM COMING TML!! HEH. :D Actually can leh. hahaha...shouldishouldi?? =| see if i can wake up lor. Heh!
*
sam- thanks for your really insightful discussion on my topic. well, i guess its true-when love comes, all else dont matter. Maybe its a bonus if the interests do match, and yeap, that's the beauty of it all- you never know what you'll get. and no one ever knows how long exactly any relationship will last. (But come to think of it, its kinda the 'argghh' factor...)
Its been a really long time since i entered one, and im really curious to know how i will 'fare' in one. But i admit that im afraid of something very important in a relationship- commitment. I cant get tied down if not i'll die a sad bird in my cage. or rather, i'll fly away pronto! Not that im a flirt or wat la, but if im prohibited from my passions (read: the ex, previous entry), its byebye to him. If i sense much more lust than love in the guy, and he treats me like some sars-suspected-quarantine-patient ie. making me call/smsing me my whereabouts every 15mins, i'll scoot man. Dont care if he threatens to kill himself, stalks me, blahblah, i'll just ignore. Wah lau it gives me the shivers to even think if i kenna-ed a guy like this. My friends have experienced it, so its another reason why im avoiding such stuff. But if THE ONE comes along and i know it, will i still hold my reasoning over my heart? Im not sure.. But i think i'll follow my heart. only if im sure that he's THE one. But i will also never know if we'll work out, so ARGHHH sian1/2 again!
Another question: Will you get together with someone else even though you already have someone in your heart? Let's put it in this scenario- you like A alot but certain circumstances do not allow you to get together with A. Then there's B who's not bad and he/she likes you and is interested in a relationship with you.
What will you do? get together with B to forget A and give yourself a chance to start anew? Or you feel that you're cheating yourself and B if you get together with B just to forget A.. Even though there's the chance that B will replace A in your heart eventually, what if he/she doesnt? See, relationships are just so unpredictable to the extent its rather scary to me. Oh well. |=
Oh no.. im leading from one thought to another. Ok, that's all i will comment on relationships. Better stop here, if not it'll be never ending. Is it me, or is the weather damn hot??! :p ok, its zee weathaaahh.

abit rusty but my games werent so bad.. 40+pts max? :D
i beat papa 2 games!!! won by abit only.
But the third game i played like shit la.
cos he didnt pang zui for the 3rd la ok??
(give him face haha)
feels good playing billiard again after duno how long.
i cant even recall when the last time i played was!
been a good day though ((:

saw this "Singapore Girl Racers" forum and i went in,
expecting to be impressed by some serious car stuff from us the fairer sex.
i was so wrong.
all the "how to differentiate real and other LVs" and bo liao topics.
nothing AT ALL to do with cars!
simi racers..they should just drop the poseur 'racer' tag and rename themselves "Singapore Tai-tai Club" la.
but most girls cant be bothered with the more detailed details of cars.
All they want is a car's name that sounds good and looks good.
argh i think im beginning to sound like a guy.
oh well i guess im fated to share most of my passions with guys.
Im a guy trapped in a girl's body!!!
dont get me wrong- im still EVERY woman..
i wouldnt change sex for the world. really.

Jialat. come to think of it, my prospective significant other HAS to share damn lots of my interests! and hopefully be better than me at them.. if not the poor guy will be very demoralised. u know, a man's pride. haha. but shouldnt be difficult eh? My interests are things most guys would like anyway. but the best is (of course) he shares ALL of them. Cars, billiards, pool, music, basketball, sports, crapping etc etc. Oh well. its not the decadence now, so i wont go think so much liao.

but here's a thought:
should your guy be EXACTLY like you? as in very similar in interest and character and almost everything?
Some say that having similar interests will result in differences in opinion over the interest. Well, if their character is very different then too bad but if their characters are similar then there should not be much conflict between the couple. Will too many similarities lead to stagnantation of the relationship? Maybe after awhile it will get boring to some. But nothing reallly beats being able to share what you love with the one you love. Its a totally different and special experience altogether i guess. Being really similar in character also means that there'll be this unspoken connection between the two and it really makes it easier for each other to understand what's going on in their minds and not tread on their toes. Of course, provided, that both are not the stubborn-as-a-mule type or hot-tempered type. But no one's perfect and even twins are damn different, so i guess its a case-by-case, subjective thing.
or
should he be the total OPPOSITE from you. you know like they say, opposites attract.
Personally, most of the guys i liked (crushed on la) are very, very different from me personality-wise. But they are not of a particular type (eg. tall, dark, sporty) so its not very accurate to use the above mentioned phrase on me. Anyway, they do share 1 or 2 things in common with me, but usually that's about it. Well, i shall divulge abit of my unmerited past here. Lucky you patient readers of my blog- i wouldnt usually bring this up but since its relevant, oh well. this is what you get from being so loyal. Heh! ok. Let's use J, the ex (ahem) as an example. He's my senior in Band. We're really quite similar character-wise - good with words, people-orientated, some sort of perfectionist. But i was basketball-mad then, he wasnt. He played a little, but wasnt very good at it. There was an incident which really killed his morale and basketball was involved. And it was because of basketball we split. He's freaking tall (183cm), i was about 154cm. He's quite fair, i was charcoal. He's (admittedly, argh.) quite good-looking and im not. He's not into basketball (though he plays badminton and bowling...y am i remembering all these?!) and I was soooo into it. K so there were (apparently) many girls after him but let's not digress. So basically we were rather different interest-wise (apart from music. Honestly, i dont really know him well enough!) and that was what killed the relationship. I placed basketball, the taboo subject, infront of the relationship (according to him). Aiyah i was young and naive then, and im just using this personal experience to add to my point that interests do make a difference.
There are those who feel that an exciting lover will add much spice to a boring person's life and there's the balance. But wont the 'exciting lover' get tired of trying to think up stuff to spruce things up if the other half remains straight-laced and mundane-y? I see that there are males would also prefer a girl whom he can take care of, whom he can sort of 'be superior' to, and not one who is independent and 'garang' cos she has a mind of her own and these MCPs to me are a unmitigated turnoff.

Argh k ive said soo much... this entry took me what, half an hour to gather my thoughts together? Hope it was food for thought though.

the dissing is starting all over i see.
seems like its still about the same person, only not me involved.
too bad. see, that's exactly what ive always wanted to say when the dissing started.
see, that's how it feels like to be backstabbed.
by someone you dont even know well.
who doesnt even know you well.
anyhow, im outta that sadded place and
i shall not further delve into those rubbish of the past.
i never did. lets not start it again here.

happy belated bday xiayan(28o3)!! (:
its the ex's bday today. 1984.
not that i want to remember (recoils in disgust),
but its one day after my bro's so oh well.
yay tml be playing billiard!
been a freaking long time since i touched billiards.
otherwise, today's a really boring day.

To the person who has been bullying me for 17 years
To the smartest smartass i have ever known
To the person who has the brightest future among the Lims and Lees
To the best pingpong player in the family history of Lims and Lees
To the worst rub-ber of pillow corners
To the hardest squeezer of arms
To the brother who treats everyone else except me, the sister, well
To the idiot who buys nice presents for me though i dont buy anything for him usually
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY BIG BRO!!!
buy booze and ciggies for me ok?
WAHAHA. xXXx:

went to Brekz restaurant at Marina Square for dinner.
the food's good. esp e beef!
but there were limited variety and it got abit boring after awhile.
ok la. not bad la....
had a chocolate overload cos i stuffed myself with too much brownies and mousse. (finally got away from all that meat)
at least my headache went away.
Another 2kg....argh! heh.

church service was ok. my playing was not screwed like practices'.
Will start working on April 1st..
so i can enjoy myself till Wed! yayyyee. (:

i was such a fool.
now ive fallen too deep
and i cant get back up again.

the traffic light is red
still flying past way above the speed limit
one red light after another is beaten
none of the junctions have a camera
they continue racing across the expressway, 160km/h
the traffic police mysteriously missing in action
the exhilarating feeling of the air screaming against their face
weaving in and out of the traffic expertly
just seeming to be able to avoid running into any car
turning into a secluded stretch of road
slowing down to a stop
the windows are closed; so is the air-conditioner
the heat is turned up
both hold their breath in sheer anticipation
the engine revs
lunging forward into the opening
slowly, then throwing into the different gears
objects approach at a whirl in the 4th
the sudden rush of blood blanks out everything else but the unspoken connection between the both of them
the car moans in ecstacy under the flooring of the pedal
passions fly within that silver bodykit
the body shivers while attempting a corner drift
time comes to a standstill in anticipation of a
perfectly done technique.
muscles tense emotions reach a zenith high
adrenaline pumps into the blood stream
they are sent into euphoria and back-
the road straightens again.
an unmarked vehicle suddenly looms in from behind
blue and red lights flash
accelerating, they speed into nothingness
leaving a trail of dust behind
once again they escape
knowing sooner or later its fate will be sealed,
yet.
nothing will stop them from doing what they love.
dangerously love.
----------------*[27o3o4]copyrightbenitalim*-------------------

freudian? chew on it. (:

denise: Hey girl!!!! Hope youve been freed from all your tests for now. Great to seeya too...Yeap hope to cya ard soon!! sigh. We can always go out or sth with everyone else. heh! ((:

-daphne-: darnn.......oh well. then all e best ya? surely u'd be able to find good friends in your new class too... take care! ((:

Oh i got my hp and sim card back (91***205)! those who have my no., pls drop an sms saying who u are k thanks! (:

My interview was not too bad..
at least i was happily talking away.
it lasted abt 20mins though cos they asked me alot of stuff
and i said alot of things too la.
2 judges- both ladies.
the one in black suit was damn act cool..
but i wasnt intimidated. haha.
Almost freaked out when they finally called me in at 4.53pm when my interview was slated to be at 4.40pm.
Thank God man.
woke up at 2.30pm.
my bodyclock's mad already.
and i gotta go for swimming now!
arghh.

fair.... to me?
i can see that i have no choice though.
ive contemplated pulling away totally again
many times before..
should this be the deciding factor?
damn im really afraid of facing the pain once more..
but if this be the best way out,
i'll take it.
i have to.
why cant we be the same without?
We can. but why isnt it going the way its supposed to be?
why does it always have to turn out this way..
but still. iloveyou.

daena: Heyyy!! that's TERRIFIC!!!! but how?! a06 is gonna be damn crowded la! dont tell me they transfering students over instead eh.... but Wah Piangg!! Tell me how it goes K!!

eX-Bee + joyce*: THANKS!! ((:

caTHy.zeE.bIms: Dun fREt!! Day-nah said that there's HOPE!! *prays hard*

-daphne-: i misss yoouuuuu alll tooo!! argh. ive been going on about missing you guys in almost every entry CAN. APPEAL BACK LA!!!! daena and cats and melisa all appealing back...and SCREW the person who put u in the wrong combi la!! u CAN appeal!!! cos it aint yer fault!!!!!!!

-------------*

Worship prac sucked for me.
i seem to have lost touch....very depressing can!!! arghhh.
it went till quite late..and i played even more suckily.
my rhythm has zao-ed,
my hand and legs are cock man. =|
aiyah, forget it. im gonna pia the songs myself in my head at home before sunday comes.

slept at 4, woke up at 12......
4.40pm's my interview!
Pray for me peeps.

Josh Groban- To where you are is friggin goood!!
melts.

missed your voice.
missed you more. (:

Class95 gave me...
a Piano Songs CD (featured on TV recently), a Tori Amos album and a Phil Colins Hits album.
cool.
saw some wannabes (i think) at the reception area.
yuck man, they try to dress but give it a rest la.
their make up is just toooooo thiCk and they're fugly can.
cannnnoooott make it! Ok.
Crashed Pjc again for the last time.
My beloved 04a06 is SPL IT !!!!!!!!
slightly less than half of them are left..
the rest got pulled to 04a05 or they changed combie.
(Cathy: I DONT WANNA BE IN A05!!!! I WANNA CHANGE CLASSS!!! I DONT WANNA BE IN THE SAME CLASS AS SHITHEADDDD!!!)
^^".
kinda touched by her loyalty though.....
many ex-a06-es wanna come back.. sigh.
Mr Sas *swoons* is a06's CT.
He saw me crash a06 but he was cool about it.
got to know afew more new pple...
e new a06 peeps arent that bad though.
There arent any bitchy girls;
the guys arent the try-hards or ah bengs
yet they arent the bloody mugger type either.
Tml's a campfire. duno if i should go...
may have to skip YF should i go.
All the best my old a06 mates..
I'll MISS YOU GUYS!!!!
but we can always meet up again yahhh?

TML is my final INTERVIEWWW!!!!
damnnn. better go prepare now.
Playing drums tonite AGAIN.
wah lau..idiot kenson!!!!!!!!!!
let me take a break la! he owes me TWO weeks can!
zzZZZzzzZZZz.

found this from jamie's.. pharnieed sia.

Q: How many RJC students does it take to change a
lightbulb??
A: 4 whole faculties. One fac to design the new bulb, one fac to test it out, one fac to market it and one guy to write a stupid Email about lightbulbs.

Q: How many HCJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The whole school.....to compete with RJC.........

Q: How many VJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The whole school.......one to screw it in and the rest to cheer and wave flags and banners to give him/her support.

Q: How many NJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: NO LIGHT STILL CAN STUDY!!!!!

Q: How many AJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: They're too busy trying to be one of the top 5 JCs...

Q: How many ACJC students does it take to change lightbulb??
A: None......they use all their money to employ YJC to do it for them.

Q: How many YJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: None.....only one teacher to tell them what a lightbulb is in the first place and to demonstrate(how do you think they're able to change it for AC?)

Q: How many CJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: They'd prefer it darker..........(hmmm...*raise eyebrow*)......

Q: How many JJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: None......Their physics is so bad that they make the male teacher cry.....

Q: How many TPJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: Would they bother??

Q: How many SAJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: None.....they believe in praying for it.

Q: How many NYJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: None.....they are still using oil lamps.

Q: How many SRJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: Huh, wat litebarb ...

Q: How you guys wonder who wrote this?
A: TJC!

Q: How many TJC students does it take to change the lightbulb?
A: None. They think they are very bright already.

Q: How many PJC students does it take to change the lightbulb?
A: None. They use natural light called sunlight. Duh.

Q: Who you guys wonder continued this?
A: PJC!

couldnt drag myself out of e bed..
sorry jamie and ting, i'll go tomorrow ok? (:

funny.
Ive become much more open with my feelings nowadays. im actually surprised at myself and quite embarrassed to be revealing so much of what's going on inside me. Maybe i have a little inferiority complex; im afraid of people laughing at those over-sensitive, absurd, foolish ruminations of mine. My emotions have the tendency to fluctuate so i'd rather not display too much of my thoughts. i know myself that they are freaking dumb but i cant help feeling the way i feel sometimes so i just keep it to myself. im glad that my reasoning holds itself over my emotions but no matter how hard i try, there they are, still egging at me.
Then i say something which i feel at that moment, and whee- it comes out sounding real bovine and people wonder if Benita has become inane, thanks to all the days she'd been holed up at home with nothing better to do than type out what you're reading now.

Maybe blogging has enabled me to open up in ways..maybe you are wondering what rubbish im spouting now. This entry sees me opening up abit more (if any) again. funny, funny. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? to know that Benita is actually such a freak or that yay Benita's opening up? See, I rather people not know a single thing.

Edited this entry cos i thought better of revealing too much. Unless you were lucky enough to have been online 11:42am - 2:25pm.

of course.
i have never forgotten
that plain, simple fact
which makes a whole lot of difference.
sorry.
dammit i just missed you can.

one step

IM IN !!!!
one step away from my dream.
but..practicality?
at the back of my head screams 'business'..
this Friday, 4.40pm..
wish me luck.!
see how la.
if God wants me in mass comm, He'll pass me.
if i screw the interview up, He means business (pun not intended).
better go prepare myself well.

Pjc.....
wah. practically e whole a06 is still in pjc la!
was really happy to see all of them..
and glad they were happy to see me too. heh.
mr sas, mr dennis yeo, ms chua and mrs bei all saw me.
so miss the peeps of pjc..sigh.
stayed in e canteen most of e time...saw many primary sch friends.
its kinda interesting to see how your primary school friends look like now from last time eh.

Went town with jamie after leaving at 10+,
slacked around, window shopped, bitched, gossiped, chatted till 4+
then i went to her house.
then slacked around, bitched, gossiped, chatted.
had fun, jamie! heh.
she's selling me her old 7210. yay.
hopefully can get it... i really like that model.
getting my sim card back soon.
using my mom's card now. no one really calls her anyway haha.
my gramma's staying at my place till her broken arm recovers..
poor thing.
will start work on monday i guess.
sighhhhh. i wanna enjoyyyyyyyy this weeeeeeekk!!!
but i think i wont enjoy much. boo.

im starting to wonder..
what i really am.

stop all the berating.
i dont deny that some are touchés,
but i know them myself too.
who in the right mind would want this to happen!?
im not blaming anyone else.
its my fault i know.
it has already happened..what's done's done.
i can only say that i will be more careful next time.
give it a rest.
i want nothing about it anymore.
thanks for the kind words and consolation to those who offered them though.
really appreciate it (:

stupid Mandarin hotel sent me all over the place before making me wait for 30mins and then telling me that they want permanent staff only. wOt?!
Crown Prince hotel does require part time banquet waitresses..
i will be interviewed again first before i get accepted.
anyhow, i have decided to work for my 2nd uncle.
it will be much easier for me to take leave and ask for unrealistic pay.
Thing is...his company is at TUAS.
but he stays near me so he fetches me there la, so its not so bad.
maybe i'll get to board ships too!
the marine engineering company deals with ship repair + trading ship parts thingie.
yeah and business' doing rather well..
so i can safely ask for higher pay. heh.
come and think of it, he has foresight......
see, ships are indispensable. not everything can be transported by freight.
for example, oil has to be drilled using rigs some smack in the middle of the sea and are subsequently transported by ships.
so ships are definitely necessary for the long, long run.
ok. im crashing PJC tml!!!
poor lolo.
she HATESit at sa.
apparently the bloody gay teacher picked on her.
she, dilys and pris are contemplating appealing back to pj.
sighh.
been a long day and im freaking hungry.
a few drops of plum wine on an empty stomach will hopefully knock me out!
goodnite.

i suddenly hate this blog.
it seems to be talking to you more than i am.
i want to tell you what's going on in my life myself.
but nowadays it seems like
i seldom do have the chance..

skipped swimming.
was force fed prawn noodles (my uncles')
though i had had some mcDonalds' earlier.
plus my foul mood and sunburnt-ness,
i couldve died either sinking to the bottom of the pool, a contrite heart or skin cancer.
had a freaking bad stomachache after lunch and had a hard time shitting la.

anyway, my bro seems to have come to terms with my going to Poly.
all i need is full support from my family members... (:
going for my newborn cousin's 1monthold celebration.
Jazreel. i suggested that name! heh.

what a year it has been.... and this is only MARCH!
i cant bring myself to think of what other bad tidings will happen to me this year. ;(

this is some accurate thing man.
no joke.
try it!

Crush Calculator

amazinGrace2

yesterday at sentosa..

my group came in 3rd, but i must say we did a pretty good job. much better than the first race!
was quite scared when we got the lead. one person was supposed to wear a lifejacket and swim over to the mini island and dig up the next clue. we were lucky- we found it very soon and were on our way. i was afraid we'd blow e lead again like the last race. well, we did, but hey it turned out pretty well. (:

task 2: using flimsy plastic cups tied to our legs to fill up a basin. Doreen's our facilitator, the one following us around to take score.
again, we were in the lead but Dom korkor's group caught up with us as we were forgotten to be given a map.
Went back, got a map, went on to the Enchanted gardens of Tembusu.

task 3: find a bloody tiny key in that sadded garden full of mosquitoes. Dom's group found their key rather easily and were 10mins ahead. we searched like mad for ours la.

task 4: Dj Martini. milopowder+raw egg+vinegar+wasabi+hotdog+chicken's heart+duck's tongue. Thank God i wasnt the one who was chosen to do the task. Well done, Jason! (:
We had to choose one person before the task is known and the person is allowed to pass if really necessary. but subsequent passes will result in a time penalty.

task 5: shuttle run with a raw squid. Nicholas did it. 14:39!

task 6: find the fig tree in the movie "the tree" and piece together a puzzle and solve it.
on the way to task 7, we entertained chinese tourists on the monorail. and Mark Richmond of Class95 called me! i won this CD compilation. was quite embarrassed cos i was practically shouting into the fone cos i couldnt hear him. it'd better not be on air!! he was rather nice though. (x

task 7: go to the Southernmost point of the Asian Continent and sing William Hung's rendition of (what else) She Bangs on top of the towers. ok i did this (my teammate passed it to me), though i had wanted to do the last task initially. I tried my best to look like a stupid clown Will Hunk is, and it was videoed (dammit!) by the taskmaster AND some tourists.
Shit. k la, im the undisputed queen of the sia swayers can! =| haha.

task 8: Dig up a box to the key we found earlier. my teammate almost drowned la. her leg got entangled in some raffia string. she started struggling in the water and i jumped down to help her, forgetting that my hp WAS IN MY POCKET. i totally forgot about it till i realised that it was gone after the race. IM F**KING PISSED with myself... its not my hp la! and my ezlink card's gone too. it was my responsibility...and i failed. :( there goes my day.

task 9: make some bloody stretcher and carry one person. end of race.
was 1/2 hr behind the 2nd team, 1 hr behind the 1st team.

gameover... but i did have fun. great job group 6!!

i hate myself.
im a source of so much trouble......2 hps in A MONTH.
im developing a phobia for hps already. i think i'll get a bloody cheap one if i ever get one again.
:( :( :( :( ;( :( :( :(
anyway. im posted to NgeeAnn's Business. will go there if i dont get into MassComm la.

i'd missed you so freaking much
i became abit mad.
and mad at you but i didnt know why.
that's y i was cranky..how stupid is that.

i cant believe this is my life.
stuck at home all day, having unlucid thoughts,
throwing a tantrum -shock- yesterday like some spoilt brat cos my mom didnt let me watch my tv show;
pigging out on Cadbury's Assorted nuts chocolate
and effectively wasting the disciplined 5 months of exercise ive been doing;
typing out boring musings of this ossified life im enduring here.
bloghopping, bloghopping, and more blo gh o pp i ng.
my com's too dumb for games.
its da HOLS!!

i need a life.
i need some fun.
i need a job.

pingu: thank you once again for still remembering me and your appreciative thoughts!! im sorry i didnt go for FDC, cos pjc had this talentnite and i couldnt rush both ways on time. sorry dearie...i was torn between the two....;[ but hey, it was good experience ya? i believe u did well. ((: love ya!!

fairytales
are a total waste of ink, trees and money. i found "The frog prince" after staring into my bookshelf for a book to read and i realised that that story is just so misleading. and exaggerated. forgive me, but i have totally hardened up my heart towards anything related to the word 'fantasy'. i'll NEVER let my kids read fairytales no matter what.

This story alone teaches kids to dream in the wrong way. hello, kissing a frog will give you a handsome prince?! maybe there're a lack of frogs in singapore, but i think some bimbo-kiddie will try it if she ever finds one. and what if the frog turns into an ugly prince? will that princess still fall in love with him?? i believe not. this is the superficiality of humans which have been twisted into a wonderful, spotless tale. and imagine you're the princess when you marry the prince- you'll be kissing a guy who has been eating flies and what not for the many years he's been stuck in the form of a frog. Love at first sight? back to my mentioned point- that poor girl is only attracted to his physical attributes. i bet a hundred bucks the marriage wont last in real life. after maybe say 3 months when the princess gets to know all the princes' disgusting traits of snoring like twenty pigs in bed and leaving his socks all over the house and the prince finds out that the princess picks her nose and eats the snot and loves to sniff her armpits, they'd start wondering what they saw in each other from the beginning. and they'd just split.
apply this to all the other fairy tales and soon you'll see the truth in my words... heh.

there's no room for the protected in this society. sorry if im destroying the meaning of creativity and imagination, but i guess ive become too cynical towards love (the relationship kind). and humanity. Come on, poll your opinion!! :D

FairyTALES!

will u let ur child read 'em?? Yes! I want my prince charming! NO. I agree with you! Yes! imagination should b developed NO. no reason whatsoever.

(One Vote per Day)

welcome to the real world.

disclaimer: dont take me too seriously, opinions differ. im just being bored (and still cynical) down here.

masscomm
i took 2 papers, mass communication and Film and Media Studies (FMS).
e masscomm one was fairly ok.
asked us to discuss something about 2 quotes,
one of which was about curiosity which i chose.
at least i could pen down some thoughts which,
thank God, did pop into my head.
But the area where i was asked to describe myself and what
my strengths and weaknessess are i
kinda crapped abit.
didnt really know what to say about my weaknessess..
abit scared that if i said i was kinda lazy they wouldnt want me
muahaha.

the FMS one was kinda crappy.
i had to do this storyboarding
where they gave us a 4 unrelated pictures
(THANK GOD i did abit of filming in PJC!!)
then finish up e story.
it was stupid!
well, basically my story was about this fish in a tank
mistaking its owner for a burglar
cos its owner left the house not too long ago for work,
and when he came back to get something
he opened the door and the sun was at his back
so the fish couldnt see his face.
it launched itself at him and affixed its mouth over his head!
how stupid is that!?
but i couldnt think of anything else.

results will be out on e 23rd,
face-to-face interview on e 26.

guess i'll be stuck at home again today.
shall enjoy myself for this week.
after this week, im gonna get a job
and money will come rolling in!
i hope.

changed my blog addie.
e old one's kinda act cute eh.
but its my old irc nick of wat, 4 years?
ha.
update please people!!
thanks! ((:

That tiny glimpse of hope is so damn heavy
its giving me sleepless nights;
nights of fitful sleep
where i awake suddenly and im not allowed to go back dreaming
of someone. who's been appearing perpetually.
cos he's weighing down my mind
im tired of waiting by my phone for his sms, hopefully
a little word reminding me he remembers my existence
a little something which would make my day.
which sadly fails to come.
my initiative always comes to naught
and its hurting my pride-
i feel stupid throwing myself at him all the time.
so i gave up awhile. that's why i didnt try recently.
human's emotions are a terrible hindrance.
dont get me wrong- i still do l--e him.
so much that its just so excruciatingly painful.
im tired. but
i cant go forward, yet i cant go back.

There are some people who meet that someone that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me; there are just some loves that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky enough to end up with someone who has a little bit of that craziness. Someone who never lets go. Someone who cherishes you forever.

-Ally Mcbeal

i know im asking for too much,
cos i just want you to really be someone.

how many times must i remind myself that its impossible?!
sorry.

invasion

am currently glued to Robin Cook's Invasion.
i cant stop reading it,
but i'lll just take a break to tell you all how provocative this book is.
maybe im biased towards thrillers,
but its a relief to know that he a consistent writer after the recently-read, disappointingly mediocre
The Summons by John Grisham.
it was rather boring, and i didnt take a second glance at the library book
after ive been through 3/4 of it until i realised that the due date was over a week ago
and i forced myself to continue from where i'd stopped.
Give me a good book and i'll read it!
but if i dont like the writer's writing style
i'll get bored...
my all time favourite writers are the above 2 mentioned
and Issac Asimov, Sci-Fi writer.
Should thank my bro for introducing these guys to me 6 years ago.
my time's up! what is this man.
nitey everyone and jamie ((:

my pjc life is over
my pjc friends have dissolved
my eye candy's back in pjc
my wonderful new friends are stuck back there too
my left middle finger's sprained
my tummy is starting to show again
my height has reached stagnantation;
my weight hasnt followed suit
my heart is ever falling
my life is missing something
my quiet time is too oftenly procrastinated
my spiritual health is waning
my computer is being passworded
my computer also needs to be upgraded
my financial situation is bleak
my future really is a question mark
my soul needs some searching
i need a break.
yet i cant stand boringness.

things really got abit poignant yesterday
when we were saying our goodbyes..
i didnt cry..
but of course i was really reluctant to leave 04a06.
raelo couldnt stand it anymore and she cried..
bye peejaycee peeps..
i'll crash often.
i'll miss you guys damn lots nonetheless!!

k on to talentnite.
solo categorys were a slight disappointment..
group categorys were quite alrite.
the winning group was made up of 3 guys who sang
"All i have to give" - backstreetboys.
it was very nice,
and i liked one of the guys' vocals.
pleasant and unique. (:
Hafis and his partner did a great job on
the Fugees' - ready or not.
(not to be confused with A1's bubblegummypop song of e same title.)
he sounds a little like e mat version of Ah Du!
but not bad too. heh.
dance cat had only 2 teams..
but MK.com really won hands down!
they'd just entered the finals of the NTU talent search thingie.
cool.
Band category- Occam's Razor was freaking good.
they had a real mat yoyo- Zulfi i think-
(he has his own band who has gigs)
and his voice is freaking nice. and almost pitch perfect.
the drummer (his name is ming rite) is good too!
dont worry ahbao, u did a pretty good job too ((:
Fis and a.Bao, hope you liked e posters!! ;))

went for dinner with eugenia/song/jamie/maryann's class/ex-class
at bukit timah market. stingray!
sigh. my classmates are not the only ones im gonna miss..
took a walk ard the pasar malam at Toh Yi with eu and maryann (aka my bball capt)..
and i called it a day.
tt's all for my 3monthscourse in peejaycee.

Thank you so much for making it such a wonderful stay!
i love you all.

no more peejaycee.
sigh.
details of tonite tomorrow..
nite pple!

swept off my feet..

3 movies

french movie no.1 - He loves me, he loves me not
seemingly harmless movie title, probably abt some sappy love story?
NOWAY.
psychotic woman madly in love with a cardiologist
and thinks he loves her too.
check out her stalking methods man.
it was rather scary even to me,
the unscareable-horror-movie-critic.
But. nice show!

french movie no.2 - La Papillion. (the Butterfly)
heartwarming story about a neglected little girl and
a butterfly-siao, loner-esque entomologist forming a bond
after she follows him, unplanned, on a trip
in search for the elusive butterfly Isabelle.
the little girl's soooooo damn cute!!!
she simply resembles/reminds me of my sis.
but she's really much cuter man.

Korean horror movie - The tale of two sisters.
Disaster.
i fell asleep 20mins into the
slow paced, cliqued-horror-movie-cinematography show.
couldnt understand the confusing plot,
we had to discuss 10 mins after the show before
we finally understood what e whole ruddy show was actually about.
now you know why im an anti-horror movie person
cos horror movies are a total waste of $$$$$$$.!

tomorrow's e last day.
Sobs.

Im here
Just like I said
Though its breaking every rule I've ever made
My racin' heart
Is just the same
Why make it strong to break it once again?

And I'd love to say I do
Give everything to you
But I can never now be true
So I say

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feelin' weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

I'm here
So please explain
Why you're openin' up a healin' wound again
I'm a little more careful
Perhaps it shows
But if I lose the highs, at least I'm spared the lows

Now I tremble in your arms
What could be the harm
To feel my spirit calm
So I say

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feelin' weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

I wouldn’t know how to say
How good it feels seeing you today
I see you’ve got your smile back
Now you say your right on track

But you may never know why
Once bitten twice is shy
If I’m proud perhaps I should explain
I couldn’t bear to loose you again

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feelin' weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Yes I will
no i cant..

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feelin' weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
but i just cant leave right now.

Man Utd DREW.
which means they're out of champion's league!!!
DA BLARDY REF KELONG!!!!
bthbthbthbth.
;(

today was some bonding sessions among
the few of us
(A.bao, davejunia, maz, cat, me, raelo, indra.
dilys and pris dint come sch, put our aeroplane again.)
which included
racist/dirty jokes, looking at maz's photographs..
(me: that's your mom?
maz: NO. that's my COUSIN.
raelo: your brother ah?! handsome sia!
maz: NO. that's my SIS!!
cathy: Wah!! who's this guy?? quite cute leh!
maz: NO!!! that's MEEEEE!!!!)
ahem. sorry.
...gossiping, laughing our asses off at boliao stuffs.
sighhhhh.
2 days left.

realise that my intelligence has become rather bimbotically inclined
after these 3 months, much to raelo's merriment.

me: ..nanhua girl from nanhua.
..esprit shirt from esprit.

jialattt.
due to ho ting's overused usage of 'blahblahblah and everything,
please ignore me if i ever start giggling whenever this phrase is used.
another ubiquitous word- "blah blahblah blah, can(?)"
neh mind.
entertainment (though BiMs-botic) in mundane pjc ((:
never fails to make me look forward to going to school everyday.

pak-ed pool with xiaobai again after school.
skipped the last bball session
cos it was going to rain
and i didnt have the mood to go...
hate partings.
stupid bugger ponned again.
10 games within 2 hrs.
not bad sia.
6-4. (of cos to me! =xxxx )
he's really not bad already. ok i shall stop talking abt him,
lest everyone starts thinking that i and that
cheena high boy has something going on again.
watever.

too much pool makes me broke.!
but i cant stop.

i wanna fade into non-existence
i cant stand the pain

apparently there were some technical problems..
so our film could not be screened today,
the last Lit lesson for me in PJC.
:( :( :( :( ;( ;( ;(
could see the disappointment running across everyone's faces..
but they'll be burning the four Lit classes' films onto a CD for us.
so everyone can watch..
but nothing beats watching it on the BIG screen.
ARgH!

Cathy's wallet (or was it pris') had this "ripcurl blah blah ..69" on it.

Me: wah piang. 69!
Cathy: Huh wat is 69?
(me dilys pris raelo hoting pengs.)
Ho ting: aiyah...69 is the head here (points to the circle area on "6") and the head there. (points at "9").
Cathy: Orhh... i know liao!! sperms ritE??

...

Dilys: sex is not all about sperms.!
(me roflmao. not exactly floor la.)
Ho ting: Cathy we are in the same league!

* [[Phüt Pöot Murphy]] * [h]ëëP.[H]òP.[h]OLiQÜe. *da.SLuGsTer* |*| L.E.E.N.G.E.R |*| says:
aye..u noe dee othertime.we were chatting den cat and priz said me and dilys veri zi ji....den cat said.." aye..dun zi ji leh, letz da jia!"
. * [[Phüt Pöot Murphy]] * [h]ëëP.[H]òP.[h]OLiQÜe. *da.SLuGsTer* |*| L.E.E.N.G.E.R |*| says:
siao.
. * [[Phüt Pöot Murphy]] * [h]ëëP.[H]òP.[h]OLiQÜe. *da.SLuGsTer* |*| L.E.E.N.G.E.R |*| says:
haha.reallie.bIMs.
*åd-DiK-±e.d\Túù/ÿyU-r\LyÝps* ¯¯¯¯cantgetenoughofyou.¯¯¯¯ +bëni-® says:
yeah B.I.M.B!

("zi4 ji3" means 'ownself do things then pple dun understand', a lingo in my n raelo's n counting dictionary.)

sighhhh. i cant believe im hanging out with B.i.M.B(o)s!!
but it really cracks me up.
too many classic examples liao,
not saying they (ting n cat only =]) brainless and everything or anything,
they smart in some ways la k?
(give redeeming feature.)
haha really lah.

3 days of school left.
i dont wanna leave my clique..
so far they are the best clique ive ever had..
and ao6.

Going for peejay's talentnite on friday,
so wont be going for YF.
support Daphne's dance and Hafis's band!!

its a thin rope im hanging on to
its a fat hope im holding on to
its a painful reality im reeling from
its a nightmare i cant wake up from
somebody save me..

my emotions..
are still too wild.
too extreme.
they can rise like nobody's business
and then plummet right down into hell.
though no one can really tell
unless i want to show it.
cos i know that its so dumb to be feeling that way..
but i cant help it.
i guess im still immature; i have to admit.
im oversensitive at times.
and not-sensitive-enough at times.
seldom, but it still is a fact.
ive had enough.
of myself.

im not crazy
im just a little impaired
i know right now you dont care

i dont feel it enough.
maybe im asking for too much
and i should just know where i stand.
still it cuts deep down inside.

ignore me.

watched the films done by ao5 and ao1 today.
i liked ao5's film.
great job!
ao1's was nice too.
really.
our class' film may not be able to be shown
cos e post production is not done yet.
sighh.

rain and rain and rain.
poured the whole day can.
mom doesnt wanna remove the computer's password.
i feel shameful.
so big liao still lidat.
mom doesnt wanna get me a new handphone soon either.
bleahh.

John Grisham's Runaway Jury the movie
is out 11 March!
My all time favourite author!
i DIE DIE oso must catch.

last week of school..
i need a job! arghs.

gotta haul butt to church for thai class.
update later maybe.

nu` template.
i like! nice and simple.
and ORANGE.
yeahh man.
veh shagged out by all e swimming
and 'netball'.
and yeah, im so happy for u two. ((:
nite.

im not crazy
im just a little unwell
i know
right now you cant tell

the bloody 985 took 25 mins to come and i was freaking late for school.
im really ponning like hell.
duno la..
planning to appear for every lesson next week.
last week of pjc for me.
maybe appear at least once for every subject.
sighh.
gotta start looking for job liao.
duno wat to do!
boo.
any lobang?? any suggestions?
drop me a tag. thanks! ((:

We make decisions both good and bad
As we live our lives each day-
then wonder what we would have had,
if we'd chosen another way.

come what may..

ex-Bee: see wat? nothing to see leh! wahaha. hey tt's GREAT!
get in ok? then i can have one more i-know-one-de-friend man.
that is, IF i get in. piaing newspapers everyday liao.

i understand why people call me overly burnt.
too bad, i just love the sun, sand and seas tooo much.
finaaaallyyy my nu` bikini got its maiden dip in da waters yest.
love it man.

skipped whole.day again.
i duno what i go to school for.
to see my eye candy~? heh.
lalalalala`
LEESHENG U CANT BEAT ME!!
wahaha.
ok la, out of abt 6-7 games
i lost twice.
dont tell the poor boy i put hand =x
first game, THE game-
i potted e black ball, he with 2 balls left.
BUT. i ate water. scratch. waT!?
siansiansian.
seriously lah, he really improved by leaps and bounds.
for a relatively new player, he's very good already.
only that he lost concentration after a few games..
aiyah xiaobai ah,
i play how long liao?! hais.
xiao wu jian da wu lahhhh. wakaka.

no worshipbandprac today,
worshipband went to joan sng's hse for KFC
and BROWNIES.
fresh, HOT from e oven, +ice-cream.
ssssluuurrpp.
was damn good la!

louiskoo n xuanxuan on teevee starting monday 9pm!!
i cant take it anymore.
gonna become a couch potato.
tml A level results out.
All e best!!!

the most painful thing in the world is not being able to be with the person you love..

town.
absolutely.NARTHING.To.BuY.
i hate town!!!!! sighh.
went with godma, she treated me to a nice lunch at Lips Café.
been a long time since i went out with her..
In and out of cold places gave my nose a reason to go crazy again.
started sniffing, then sneezing.
didnt help that it started raining..
went to meet raelo.
apparently godma's giving tuition at her block!
and they were in the same lift just yesterday.
what a small, small world.
lo's putting SAJC as her 1st choice.
then PJC.
arghh... i will miss her so much man.
i guess she's e person i consider my bestest friend ever..

Here's what i've decided on (in order of choice):

Mass Communications (NP) - direct admission

1.Business Studies (NP)
2.Media & Communication (SP)
3.Media studies & Management (NYP)
4.Law & Management (TP)

I can get into any course i want
but of course i will only choose something i have interest for.
byebye PeeJayCee.
i'll miss you and everything.

ack-choO! gross.
muck's all over the keyboard.
I wanna cut off this
prominent-perpendicularly-enhanced-nasal-organ
of mine.

why did you come into my life?
i dont know if this is the
happiest thing ever happened to me
or
the worst regret.

daMmItt.
i found out e password for the com..
only to find it changED. Boo hoo.
some of my uncles have been coming up to me and going
"JC's THE way!"
argh. not in a bad way la,
abit of friendly debating as to why i chose the poly route.
its.alrite
i expected lotsa that coming my way.
boring day.
havent registered for Poly yet.
does registration close on Wed 4pm for Polys oso?
argh i dont even know!
Thai class later.
Church peeps,
pray for my decision-making for my future please..
Thanks (:

simply cos you are you.